so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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