Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
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cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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