I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
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This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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