$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize