Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize