i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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