So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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