the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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