what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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