ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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