so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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