oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
do nipples grow back?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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