Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
two words...techno handjob
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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