is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Your dad touched me again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize