my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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