i think my tv is drunk
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sex in a hospital.. check
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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