Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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