Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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