Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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