Whatcha textin bout Willis?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize