First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize