So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
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My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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