More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize