goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize