Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize