can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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