She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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