Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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