Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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