a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize