I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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