so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize