So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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