He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
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He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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