Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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