Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
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the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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