Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
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