he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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