You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize