dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
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I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
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three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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