Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize