Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
wow bdsm is so cute
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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