i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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