I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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