Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize