If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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