4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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