yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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