I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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