My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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